Castles in the Air
by Sethoz
Summary: Trip thinks he has lost the one person he loves, but can he find her again? *Contest Entry for Quills T/Tu romance comp* *FIN*
1. Regrets

Disclaimer: Okay, here's my newest fic for Quills Trip/T'Pol romance contest.   
As you all prob know by now I don't own Enterprise... or Trip.  
Here's the first part, it's mostly written in 1st point of view.  
Thanks as always to my beta 'HopefulNebula' who's one of the best!   
Now, let's get started, shall we?  
  
  
Part 1:-  
Regrets.  
  
~Trip PoV~  
  
The world is full of them. Little words, making up little sentences, like 'If only'... 'What if?'... 'Maybe'..., all small, yet meaning so much. When I was younger, my Gran would pull me up onto her lap and tell me, Regrets don't build future, they bind us to the past. She was right. Even so, I find myself standing by a window, those little thoughts running round my head.  
  
'If only I had found the courage to tell her...  
  
What if Malcolm had never come to Enterprise...  
  
Maybe if I hadn't been so hostile at first towards her...'  
  
Life's full of them you know. Regrets of what could have been. Those little thoughts stacking up and up until they were the only thing in you're head.   
I happy for her you know. I don't think I ever really believed I'll get her. There was always this lurking fear that I could never be what she needed. I never admitted it out load mind you, never even admitted That I, Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III, even liked her. Did I say liked? I meant loved, no that's wrong, I still love her. It was only in the darkest moments, when the rain ran down my soul that I listened to the little voice, always taunting, telling what I could not have.  
And as I stand here, staring at the wonders of the universe, I see it all in a moment of deep clarity. Call it my epiphany if you will. My whole life had been build upon castles in the air, places where I could hide all the hurt I felt from the world and just pretend it doesn't exist. The lies I would tell to made my castles float, would eat away at my soul until I almost believed them myself. But they were just regrets and castles in the air...  
  
~@~  
  
He stands there, Commander Tucker, his face turned from the warmth, from the people, instead facing cold space. His face is relaxed, but is soul is in deep pain. He is Charles Tucker and has had his heart broken.  
  
~@~  
  
~Trip PoV~  
  
Space is so cold... There are times when I feel like space, cold all over. I sometimes wonder who am I now? Am I the old Trip? No, he died the day Malcolm had said they were dating. His smile and the laughs, I swear I saw T'Pol give the hint of a hint of a smile but that might just have been my imagination. Somehow I managed to plaster a smile on my face as I told Malcolm how lucky he was. It's funny, I should hate him, he took the only person I ever truly cared about. I don't. Hell, I don't even feel bad about the face I lost her. Just numb... and the single thought that if he ever hurt her it would be the last thing he did.  
It's nearly time for my shift. As I turn to go, a small shooting star catches my eye. I can't help but feel a small smile come to my face as I remember the poem my Gran would say,  
  
'Star light, Star bright,  
First star I see tonight.  
I wish I may, I wish I might.  
Have the wish, I wish tonight.'  
  
Does that still work in space? Surrounded by stars could you wish upon the first shooting star you saw? Wishing upon a star sounds silly but all the same I can't help but wonder. Castles in the air are all very well but like wishing, like loving T'Pol, they are just dreams.  
  
Wish upon a star...  
  
"I Wish..."  
  
Maybe, just maybe one of my castles in the air will turn solid and some of my regrets will go...  
  
  
  
TBC... 


	2. Written In Sand

Disclaimer: because all you lovely people asked for it, here's the next part of Castles in the Air, there is five parts in total. Please read and review, please, please!!  
  
  
Part 2:-  
Written in Sand.  
  
  
So I'm sitting here waiting, waiting for a wish to come true, waiting for a miracle... when you think about it like that, then it sounds so stupid, Ma Tucker's eldest boy, waiting for a wish to come true. She would have laughed her socks off, then her skin. Miracles and dreams can only carry you so far, maybe it's time to knock down all my hopes and dreams and build new ones. Yet something inside of me won't give up, won't let go of the hope that's resting in deep in my heart, shining like a jewel.  
"Do you believe you're destiny is written in stone?" The question, spoke in a neural tone, comes out of nowhere. There in front of me is the angel who haunts my sleep, T'Pol. I look up at her in confusion.   
"What do ya mean?" I ask. She doesn't look like the Vulcan I had seen a few days ago, with the hint of a hint of a smile, she looks older and wiser somehow.  
"I have heard that some humans believe there destiny, there fate is written in stone. I was curious to know if you thought that."  
"In stone? No. I believe our destiny's are written in sand." I answer. I've interested her now, her body leaning forward, her eyes on my face.  
"I have never heard that before. Please explain." I pause for a moment to gather my thoughts, then tell her. My face lights up as I explain, trying to show what I feel. She listens, never interrupting, her mind story every word I say. When I finish she gives a small nod.  
"Thank you Commander" she says, then leaves the sent of Yang, Yang in my nostrils. I look down at the table my thoughts a helpless muddle.  
  
~@~  
  
Stone is unmoving, unbending. I can't believe that no matter what we do, our lives have a pre-determined end. I believe in free will and you can't have that if your life is engraved in stone. That's why I think it's written in sand. Sand is flexible, stone is made from it. Every choice you make changes your destiny as the wind blowing changes the sand. Like the sand our lives are forever changing, forever moving.  
My thoughts turn back to T'Pol and Malcolm as they have so many times before. The ' If Only's ' are spinning round again, the presser in my head is increasing.  
  
'If only it had been me in the shuttle with T'Pol instead of Malcolm...  
  
If only I had been there when she was injured...  
  
If only it had been me who had mind-linked with her to save her...  
  
If only...'  
  
There's too many 'If only's' in my life. Too many ways my life could have gone.   
I look up, at the other side of the room is Malcolm. For the first time since the mind-link, I look past the mask he's wearing. He's in pain, I can practically see the waves coming off him.  
  
~@~  
  
They sit at either end of the room, both in pain, both thinking about the same woman. They are each waiting for the sign, to free them both. The blond is Commander Tucker and he waits for three words. The dark haired is Malcolm Reed and he waits for three very different words, but each have the same goal in mind.   
  
~@~  
  
God, have I really been that selfish, not to notice the pain my friends in? Still there's a little voice in my head that's happy at this turn of events. Maybe the mind-link can be broken without hurting them, neither seems happy... maybe, just maybe there's hope yet.  
After all our destiny's are only written in sand...  
  
TBC... 


	3. Mind, Body and Spirit

Disclaimer: First of all, THERE IS A PLOT TO THIS. The first two chapters were sort of BACKSTORY to lead up to this, they were all needed. Okay? Not ramblings. Anyway, thanks to HopefulNebula who's still my beta. Okay, there is two more parts after this one, the next part really brings the story to a head. Onward, please read and review!!  
  
Castles in the Air.  
  
  
Part 3:-  
Mind, Body and Spirit.  
  
  
There were three of us in pain, our pains entertwining. But I forgot one very important factor, one important part of the equation. Hoshi. She's in pain as well. Maybe more than the rest of us. Only I knew that the day T'Pol and Malcolm mind-linked was the day Hoshi had been planning to tell Malcolm how she felt.  
I'm sitting in my room, all the lights are off, a single candle burning brightly in front of me. It had been so easy to get Jon's permission to burn candles, he didn't even ask why... it's for meditation, though I could never tell him that. I meditate these days. It helps me feel closer to T'Pol. Thinking of T'Pol, made me think of Malcolm and then of that stupid mind-link. It makes me think of an old earth saying.  
'The timeless unity of mind, body and spirit.'  
What is love really? What is the difference between 'love' and a 'soul mate'? I think after seeing T'Pol and Malcolm together I now know. Even though their mind-link binds their minds together and to some extent their bodies, it leaves their spirits free. And that's the difference between love and true love is weather or not their sprits are bound together. That thought leads me back onto that mind-link. I read up on them the moment I found out about T'Pol's. From what I could find out if they have truly linked then there minds are locked together. Basically it means breaking a link would be like chopping an arm or leg off. I love T'Pol to much to try and break the mind-link, love her to much to do anything that would hurt her...  
I'm drifting now, my sprit is slowly floating about, my mind far, far away, when I hear two voices out of the darkness, as if from a great distance. A male and female voice, for some reason, the females voice soothes me as she talks.  
"Malcolm, I believe, I can reverse the mind-link without any harmful side effects."  
"You can?" The male answers. "How and why do you want to?"  
"Even though you may not know it, your heart belongs to another. If the heart is not connected like the mind-link then reversing it should be pretty easy." It's T'Pol, I realize.  
"Yours does too" That has to be Malcolm. With a jolt, I come back to reality, my eyes wide and my breathing uneven. T'Pol's heart belongs to another? It was all I needed to  
re-start the hope that I held in my chest.  
But... what if it wasn't me? What if T'Pol cared for someone like... like the Cap'n? No, my heart won't believe that, maybe it wasn't so foolish to wish upon a shooting star, maybe some of my dreams will come true after all.  
"Lt. Yokes to Commander Tucker." Katelin Yokes is calling me over the comm. She's a very capable engerniree and only 25, if I wasn't careful, I could lose my job to her.  
"Tucker here." I'm amazed at how rough my voice sounds. At that same moment I realize something. When Lieutenant Yokes had called there had been the tiniest tremor of fear in it. She had been afraid of me... loving T'Pol and believing she could never love me had made me bitter and short tempered these last few days, I had snapped at everyone, found fault with everything and made everyone unhappy. I would have to apologize to Katelin, I didn't want to lose the friends I had.  
"It's the envioremtal controls in the mess hall, somethings making them go hairwire."  
"Don't worry, I'll check it out... and Lieutenant?" I say, while blowing out the single candle.  
"Yes Sir?" she asks.  
"Thank you Katelin for being so... understanding, I know I haven't been the easiest person to work with these past few days."  
"That's okay Commander, Lt. Yokes out." The comm went dead and with a sigh I leave.  
  
~@~  
  
Four people. In four different places. Each unaware that their lives are on an intercept course with destiny. Trip. T'Pol. Malcolm. Hoshi. Each in love, each in pain. Each unknowing that the choices of the next few hours could very decide the fate of Enterprise and the life of one of them.  
  
T'Pol, in her quarters, meditating, her mind-link broken...  
  
Malcolm, hunting for Hoshi, having at last seen what everyone knew...  
  
Hoshi, crying in a darkened corner...  
  
Trip, heading for the mess hall, his face a perfect mask...  
  
Destiny is about to roll her dice and play with the crew of Enterprise, will Lady Luck be there for them or will it be the end of one foretold in sand...  
  
TBC...  
  
Well, there you have it, now please review! 


	4. Space

Disclaimer: I'm sorry to surprise all you people but I don't own Enterprise. What? You knew that already? Fine. Here we have it part 4!   
Thanks to my beta 'HopefulNebula' as always for being kind enough to beta this part.  
Just remember these are the thoughts of a dying person so they may jump around a bit, there supposed to.  
Lesa, who asked if we would hear from Hoshi the answer is no. The reason I have sort of glossed over the Hoshi/Malcolm part is I am writing a companion story for this one, called 'Candy Hearts', which will focus on them.  
Anyway on with this part!   
  
  
Castles in the Air.  
  
  
Part 4:-  
Space.  
  
  
Space is very big... not a very original comment I know. I think T'Pol herself once said it on the bridge. That all seems so long ago now. It's true though. I'm lying on my back, the cold floor freezing me and all I can do is wait. At least Enterprise is safe, I was glad that what I had done   
hadn't been in vain. I lie here, staring at the stars I can see through the window, my mind flying back to my childhood, to a book I once read, a few words floating through my mind; 'The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few - or the one.' I finally understand the true meaning of those words. It was worth giving up my life to save Enterprise. Yes, you  
heard it right, I'm dying. The needs of the many would be Enterprise and her crew, I'm glad they're safe. The needs of the few would be Jon and the others who would miss me, but missing me is a lot better then everyone being dead. And then there's the need of the one. Me. I don't want to die, I want to live, want to live so badly. I'm so scared as I wait here, 'cos that's  
all I can do. Wait. I can't even face death in the eye, my legs don't seem to work anymore.  
  
Space is very big... Who would have thought that fixing such a simple problem, could have such drastic consequences? I was in the mess hall, fixing said problem with the environmental controls. I had nearly finished when I noticed a second problem, where two pipes had somehow managed to develop hairline fractures and leak gas. How was I to know that those two harmless gases when mixed produced a deadly poison? Chemistry had never been my strong point at school, I only knew the basics, certainly not chemical reactions of elements and compounds. I had repaired the two pipes when I began to feel lightheaded. I collapsed to the floor, unable to move. So that's how I ended up here, my life force being slowly sucked out. I had managed to fix the pipes before the poison had spread to the air systems so no one else would be affected. I had saved the crew but at a price, having breathed in some of the most  
potent fumes.  
  
Space is huge... I wonder how huge space really is? Light and dark begin to flicker between my eyes sort of like life and death. Who was it who said space was the final frontier? I can't remember, my mind's full of fog, everything is so hard... must think... space the final fronter...  
even though I can't remember who said it I know that they were wrong. Space isn't the final frontier, death is. Death is the one thing you can't conquer, the one thing you can't escape from, the one thing everyone must face. I just wish I wasn't facing it so soon. I want to die in my bed, with a Charles Tucker IV by my side or failing that, going out in a huge blaze of glory,   
many, many years from now.  
  
Space is massive... suddenly my body starts to spasm, as red hot pain hits me. I can't help but let out a strangled scream, as I wiggle about on the floor, unable to do anything else... God it hurts... the pain hits again as a weak scream of pure pain forces it's way through my entire body. The stars in front of me flicker oddly as the world around me begins to fade...  
  
~@~  
  
A Vulcan sat, her eyes closed, her mind in deep meditation. Suddenly her eyes snapped open. T'Pol looked around her room, wondering why there was a unusual sensation in her stomach. Without knowing why, she stood up and left her room, the feeling in her stomach increasing and somehow she knew, knew that something was wrong with Trip. She unconsciously quickened her pace and began to hunt for him. As she rounded a corner she almost bumped  
right into Malcolm and Hoshi, who were standing, a few inches apart, looking into each others eyes. One look at their faces was enough to convince her she had been right all along about Malcolm and Hoshi's feelings towards one another. Hoshi looked at T'Pol, a brilliant smile illuminating her face. She looked deep into T'Pol's eyes and knew something was terribly wrong.  
"T'Pol? What is it?" she asked. T'Pol looked down the corridor, past the happy couple, her eyes dark and forboading.  
"I... I am unsure but... something is wrong with Commander Tucker. He... he is in danger..." T'Pol said. The other two looked at each other. They didn't ask how she knew, only nodded.  
"We'll help you find him." Malcolm offered. For a spilt second T'Pol considered saying no.   
"Very well Mr. Reed, you and Ensign Sato can help." They all set off along the corridor, looking for Trip. About 30 seconds later they reached a choice of two possible routes. Somehow T'Pol knew Trip was in even greater danger and that they were running out of time. She looked down both paths, unsure of which to take. Suddenly Hoshi stiffened.   
"I can ear something! It's Trip... oh God, he's screaming! The left corridor, he's down the left!"  
All three broke into a run. As they skidded to a stop in front of the mess halls closed doors, Hoshi placed her ear to the cool metal.   
"He's in there... he's just started to scream again!" she didn't need to tell Malcolm and T'Pol that, they had heard it through the door. The sound was not one they wished to hear again. Malcolm opened the door, dreading what they would find. There on the floor, was Trip, his entire body jerking about. T'Pol rushed to his side as Malcolm used the comm to call the doctor.  
"Tell him the Commander appears to be suffering from some form of poison." T'Pol ordered. Trip had stopped moving by now and was taking short, shallow grasps of air. He seemed to be having trouble breathing.  
"Lieutenant Reed, Ensign Sato, meet with the doctor and tell him all of Commander Tucker's  
symptoms so he has time to prepare." T'Pol stated. Malcolm nodded and left. Hoshi paused for a second, her gaze moving from one to another, then she too left. T'Pol placed her hand in Trip's clammy one. He gave a groan and began to try and open his eyes.  
"T'Pol?" he crocked weakly, his gaze unforcused.  
"Yes Trip, it is I."  
"You... you just called me Trip." he said softly, every word a battle to say. T'Pol looked at him.  
"I-I like you Trip." she said slowly. Trip gave a weak smile.  
"Stay." he pleaded. "don't want to be alone."  
"You're never alone." T'Pol said. Trip gave a small gasp then began to spasm, Coughing as he did so. He put his hand up to his mouth to try and control it. When he lowed his hand, T'Pol was shocked to see blood on it. T'Pol raised her right hand, her fingers in the Vulcan style greeting. Trip stared at the hand for a few seconds, unsure of what she meant. T'Pol genteelly picked up Trip's clean hand and pressed it against her own.  
"li-Live long... and prosper." Trip crocked, surprising T'Pol.  
"Live long and prosper Trip." T'Pol said, her body slowly relaxing.  
Suddenly Trip stiffened, with a cross between a groan and a gasp his eyes slid shut and his hand went limp...  
  
  
TBC...  
  
just one part left, all you haveto do is click on the little blue button... 


	5. The Never Ending Story

Disclaimer: This is it! The last part of Castles in the Air. Blah, blah I don't own Enterprise no matter how many pennies I offer. Thanks to my beta HopefulNebula who, well, was my beta.  
  
  
Castles in the Air.  
  
  
Part 5:-  
The Never Ending Story.  
  
  
Jon Archer stared at the still figure of his best friend the worry eched deep in his forehead. T'Pol stood by his side, her eyes clam, though if you looked hard you could see the hint of red, rimming them. They stood there, each in there own thoughts, waiting, waiting for Trip to wake up...  
  
~@~  
  
The story never ends you know. Not really. Sure, people are born and people die but life's story carries on. When a person dies it's simply the end of a chapter, not the end of the book. Your spirit carries on, in the hearts and minds of those you leave behind. A chapter in my life is drawing to a close, having gone full circle from Malcolm mind-linking with T'Pol to save her   
life, to T'Pol mind-linking with me to save mine.  
I was surprised to wake up in sickbay. I had been sure I was destined for the big warp engine in the sky so you can imagine my surprise at still being in the land of the living. I forced my heavy eyes open, wondering at the time which idiot had glued them shut. The first thing I saw was the rather blurry vision of the Captain smiling and her. T'Pol. Before I could ask why the hell I wasn't dead, and what about the current situation Jon found so funny, T'Pol's voice rang out, INSIDE my head.  
  
//Commander... Trip, can you hear me?\\  
  
I stared at her, the clogs in my head moving with supreme slowness. I finally arrived at two words;  
  
//Mind-Link?\\ I thought-asked.  
  
//I am glad you worked it out, I was beginning to believe the link had frozen your brain.\\ came T'Pol's voice, the slightest hint of sarcasm laced in.  
  
//You saved me?\\ I thought, a small smile on my face.  
  
//Yes, it can be dangerous to mind-link again, so soon after breaking one however.\\  
  
//What!\\ I thought-yelled, //You put yourself in danger?!\\  
  
//If you would let me finish. However, IF the person's katra are in 'tune' with each others then it is safe.\\ T'Pol finished. I lay there in stunned silence, Jon looking from T'Pol to me then back again, aware that he had missed something but unsure of what. So that's how it happened. Our katra or souls were in tune with each other. Sometimes in the quiet, if I concentrate, I can hear T'Pol's heart beating, completely in sync with my own. No matter   
where I go, T'Pol will always be with me and vice-versa. Who knows what the   
future has in store for us? All I know is I'm dying to find out. So like I said before, a chapter of my life has ended, but before the ink has dried on the page, it will be the start of a new chapter, a whole new adventure. Only this time I'll have T'Pol by my side...   
  
~The End Of This Story, The Start Of Another.~ 


End file.
